Obsessed is the riveting movie about a married man whose office assistant imagines an affair with him and then becomes obsessed with their relationship, which turns fatal. It shows how the gradual progression from slight flirting can lead to a potentially ruined marriage. Letting little sins slide leads to major downfalls. When boundaries are not established, sin can creep in easily. Boundaries must exist to protect yourself and your relationships.
The movie begins with the husband (Derek) meeting Lisa (the assistant) in an elevator. She drops some things on the floor and he,” innocently” helps her, touching her hand and then glances at her thigh. This then leads into little glance by Derek towards Lisa. He’s not acting on anything but is subtly “checking her out.” RED FLAG! This is the beginning of letting sin creep in. Derek says he would never have an affair on his wife (Sharon) and even tells her, “I only have eyes for you.” But Scripture tells us in Matt. 5:28, “But I say to you everyone who looks on a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Not only did Derek commit sin in his heart when he looked at Lisa, she committed a sin by dressing in a way and putting herself in positions so as to make him notice her. This is a good lesson for us ladies. We must make sure that what we wear is not decided upon because we want men to “check us out.” That should never be a motivation for us. Let’s help our brothers out. Men need to also make sure their eyes do not look at women in a wrong way. I’m not saying men should never look at women but it is how they look that makes the difference. When the cheerleaders come on the screen during a football game, men should take care and look away. Those cheerleaders dress in a way because men like it but that doesn’t mean it’s right or godly to look at them. Those looks lead to sinful thoughts.
The biggest downfall of all though was Derek never told his wife about Lisa coming on to him and trying to start an affair with him. His wife had made a rule that he would have no female personal assistants. A very wise rule to have in a marriage relationship, by the way. Boundaries must be in place to protect the marriage bed and keep it pure.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. ~ Heb. 13:4
In a marriage, the two are one and thus nothing should be hidden from each other. We are to speak truth in love at all times, even though it may hurt the person at the moment.
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is that Head, that is, Christ. ~Eph. 4:15
The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in men who are truthful. ~Prov. 12:22
When Derek’s wife finally found out about Lisa, she didn’t believe her husband because he had been hiding the truth from her, even though he never cheated on his wife. She was unable to trust him because he had lied to her. She felt betrayed. If he had been upfront and honest from the beginning he would have proven himself trustworthy. There should be nothing hidden in a marriage. The two are one: “And the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh.” ~Mk. 10:8
He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. ~Prov. 28:13.
When there are things hidden within a marriage, it starts to put an invisible rift in the marriage. The person hiding the truth is in fear of being caught and only hurts the other when the truth finally comes out because it will. It always does. “Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known.”~Lk. 12:2
If the Hoover Dam had little cracks everywhere, what would happen? The whole thing would break apart, destroying itself and everything around it. It’s the same with sin in our lives. If we allow little sins here and there, they will all add up, destroying us and hurting those around us.
The story of David and Bathsheba is a great example of this. David’s “little sin” of looking at Bathsheba led to even greater sin (that of adultery and murder) and even the death of an innocent man and baby (2 Sam.11-12). If only he had looked away from her immediately. If only he hadn’t acted upon his attraction to another man’s wife. If he had fled from that “little sin”, lives and heartache would have been avoided. He gave Satan a foothold by just one lingering look at Bathsheba.
Things to Remember:
1. Don’t give Satan a foothold by letting little sins creep in.
..And give no opportunity to the devil. ~ Eph. 4:27
2. Do speak the truth in love at all times, to everyone.
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. ~ Eph. 4:25
3. Don’t look with lust on anyone that is not your spouse.
But I say to you everyone who looks on a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. ~ Matt. 5:28
4. Do run away from all sexual sin.
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. ~ 1 Cor. 6:18
Let’s learn from David and Derek’s mistakes so we can give an account to God that is honorable (Rom. 14) and glorify Him with our lives and relationships.
For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.~ Phil. 2:13-16.