As I was browsing through the December issue of Redbook, I noticed they were featuring Christina Aguilera, who recently separated from her husband and is going through a painful divorce. In light of this, I was very curious about what she would say about relationships. Would she be bitter? Would she be heartbroken? What would be her feelings about men now? This says it all:
“Every woman has the ability or the drive to do it all and have it all. Men aren’t as strong and capable as we are. We’re machines.”
At first I was kinda shocked at how blunt she was and how demeaning to men she sounded but as I thought about it, it wasn’t that far off from the way the mainstream culture is beginning to see men. In most sitcoms, the husband is the stupid one, just another child to take care of, and the wife is the one who holds it all together. In popular fiction books, women are now the ones who hold the power in the home, work, and dating scene. Even in the church, skits feature a woman having to be patient with her silly, incompetent husband who’s messing up the directions so she’s going to have to step in and fix things.
I’ve been guilty of having some of these same thoughts. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked guys in my life to look for something and they’ll say, “It’s not here.” Then I go look in the same spot, find it, and my next thought is, “Just like a man not to be able to find anything. Women are just so much more proficient.” But then I have to catch myself and really think about what I’m saying. Women are beginning to do the exact same thing men did for thousands of years.
As women, we are becoming exactly like the misogynists that we fought against. We are becoming a female-dominant culture. For so long women fought for rights and equality and the battle was being won. Women can vote, run for Congress, and own property. Women can now get as much education as men and it’s highly encouraged. In 2008, women made up about 48 percent of the labor force and men 52 percent. In the church, women can teach other women now; some are even highly esteemed authors and speakers. I am thankful for all the women that have fought for these rights because I am reaping the benefits, but it seems the battle has taken a nasty turn. The fight for equality has turned into a fight for superiority.
Elizabeth Gould Davis (The First Sex, 1971), a famous feminist, regarded men as genetic mutations because of their Y chromosome and believed women had the superior DNA makeup because of the extra X chromosome which accounted for“superior physiological makeup and the superior intelligence of women over men.” (pg.35)
Candice Bushnell, author of Sex and the City, wrote a new book about 4 women in New York called Lipstick Jungle. These women were CEO’s, tycoons, and they wanted women ruling the world, not men. As one of the characters was going through a divorce, she reflected on men in this way: “It’s always amazing how quickly they crumble when the pressure gets to be too much. We have all these ideas about men, but they’re all wrong. Men are just weak little frightened people…” (280)
In the past men were the ones degrading women but now women are degrading men. All respect is gone. Women think they can do everything better than men. They think, “Men only hurt you, use you, or abuse you. They’re all lazy, immature, and cheaters. We don’t need men to be fathers to our children either. We’ll make better dads anyways.” We demanded respect from men and we’re now starting to get it, but what have we begun to do? We disrespect men. We’ve forgotten how much we hated how they treated us, and sometimes still treat us, as women. In our fight to be free, we’ve forgotten to be biblical.
“And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.” Lk. 6:31-32
It’s evident men and women are different. God has given us different strengths and weaknesses but we are all made in His image (Gen. 1:26-27). We are all equal in value, worth, and dignity in Christ.
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Gal. 3:28
God has made male and female different for a reason. We complement each other, we balance each other out, and we were designed to perform different functions here on earth – all which deserve respect. Different does not mean better or worse. It’s just different. If you’re a mother, are you better, of more value, than your child? No! You just perform a different function than your child. Are you better than your girlfriends if you happen to be better at cooking, school or working than they are? No! No matter how frustrating we find men at times, they deserve love and respect as a creation of God. God has given them strengths you don’t have and vice versa. You help balance each other out and you all deserve love and respect as God’s creation.
As Mary Kassian states, “The Lord created male and female as an object lesson – a parable as it were – of a profound spiritual reality: The relationship between Christ the husband and the Church, His Bride. Men are to reflect the strength, love and self-sacrifice of Christ. Women are to reflect the character, responsiveness, grace and beauty of the Bride He redeemed.”
Women are not better than men, and men are not better than women. We are all sinners when it comes down to it but Christ commands that we love one another, as He loved us (Jn.15:12). Only through God’s grace and help can we ever do anything of worth or value in His eyes. We are equal; Different in roles, but equal in worth.
So, just as we want respect of men, they deserve our respect as well. (Eph. 5:33) We give respect, not because it is always deserved or earned by a flawed human, but because they were created in the image of God. While our foremothers fought valiantly for their future daughter’s rights, we must be careful not to fall into the thinking of feminists who treat men as worthless. As women, we must take care that we ourselves do not become abusers of equality.
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Rom.12:10