How Do You Make Good Decisions?

Life is full of different decisions: which school to go to, which job to take, what degree to pursue, what church to join, who to date, who to marry. It seems like life is just one big circle of never ending decisions. Each choice bringing new people, new circumstances, new doors opened. Each choice changing your life: for better or for worse. Each choice a possibility to do what’s right or what’s wrong. There seems to be so much weight on the decisions you make. So how in the world do you make the right ones?

How do you let go of worrying about making the wrong choice and move towards God-trusting, faith-founded, wise decisions? How do you make good decisions with confidence?

The first step to making good decisions is learning to trust God and His commands. The only way to do that is by getting to know Him.

Hang Around God

How do you become more like the people you look up to? You spend time with them. The more you hang around them the more you become like them. As the old saying goes, “you are who you hang around.” To make wise, godly decisions, you need to get to know the One from whom all wisdom and knowledge comes. The more you read God’s Word, the more you’ll become more like Him and the better your decisions will be (Ps.32:8; Prov.28:5).

Look at God’s Track Record

To know if you can trust God, you have to examine your life to see how He’s treated you. Knowing God’s track record helps you have faith in Him. Faith brings about obedience because what you have faith in determines what decisions you’ll make.

One reason Eve began to doubt God and made a really bad decision was because Satan tried to tell her lies about God’s character and commands. She didn’t really trust God’s character. He still does that to this day and many times it works. This is why you have to read the Bible so that you can know the truth. Scripture is God’s way of revealing His character and will for us. So when Satan tries to get you to doubt God’s goodness and wisdom then you can combat him with the truth of God’s Word.

Keeping a prayer journal is a great way to see God’s goodness and presence in your life. Write down your prayer requests and periodically go back through them to see which ones God has answered. Trust me, you’ll find out God’s track record is pretty amazing!

Pray A LOT!

Prayer is how we talk things out with God. It’s our chance to tell Him what we need and ask His advice. How do you get the wisdom to make the right decision? You must talk with God and ask Him for it. If you pray for wisdom and God’s will to be revealed, with complete faith, He’s always faithful to answer. (Col.1:9;Phil. 4:6)

Talk With Godly People

Anytime I have a big life decision, I seek the advice of those I respect and trust. Godly counsel can be one of the ways God gives you wisdom to make the right decisions in your life but you also have to listen to that advice (Prov.12:15;19:20). Now you don’t have to do everything people tell you but a wise person knows they need more wisdom and through listening to the advice of godly people they can get even more. Only unwise people don’t listen to counsel but instead lose their way. (Prov.11:14)

If you’re wondering about whether to keep dating your current relationship interest, talk it out with your godly friends and family. They can give you different viewpoints, and they’ll help you grow in wisdom and knowledge of God’s will. (Prov.9:9)

Don’t Live in the Land of  “What-Ifs”

You can’t live in the land of What-ifs because you’ll never leave. They never go away and you’ll be constantly in a state of worry or stress. Sometimes you’ve just got to make the most informed, prayed-up decision you can and leave it in God’s hands. The great thing about doing that is your leaving it in the hands of the one who is Most Sovereign. I made so many mistakes during in college and for a long time I lived in a state of guilt and worry because I thought I may have ruined my life. But I’ve realized that God uses even our worst mistakes for His glory. Does it make the wrong decisions okay? No. But God is sovereign over all our decisions, good or bad.

Don’t Base Everything on How You “Feel”

Are you feeling “unrest” about going to one college that just so happens to be 3 hours away from your boyfriend? The college has the best program for your degree and they’ve offered you a scholarship. Wisdom says this is a good choice while feelings say you shouldn’t go to the school because it would take you away from your boyfriend.

You may feel “peace” or “unrest” about making certain decisions but before you trust that feeling, look into WHY you’re feeling this way. There are usually facts leading you to feel that way. Why are you feeling unrest? Why are you feeling peace?

Find the facts that have led to these emotions. You don’t need to throw away your emotions, but you do need to consider the source of the emotions and whether you can trust that source. After you’ve examined the facts, see if they line up with Scripture and bring God glory. Then make your decision based on that, not a “feeling” or a “hunch.”

Making the right decision doesn’t have to be a huge, emotionally exhausting, difficult ordeal. Believe me, I used to worry about whether or not I should go to a certain college, take a job, or even go to one party over another. I didn’t want to make the wrong choice and potentially derail my life because I picked wrong. But now, as I’ve grown in my faith, decisions seem to be far less dramatic or difficult because I know God’s in control. Whatever decision I make I trust that God will work it for my good and His glory. I’ve learned that if I make a decision based upon God’s wisdom then I know He’ll lead me on the right path.

God can give you the same peace and confidence when you’re making a decision. Just get to know God, read the Bible, go to Him in prayer, and base your decision on the facts. And if you ever need advice on what to do, ask your godly friends. If you don’t have anyone you can really talk things out with, we are always just an email away.  Ask us! 🙂 We may not have all the answers, but we know where all the answers can be found (2 Pet. 1:3).


5 thoughts on “How Do You Make Good Decisions?

  1. I have been learning this experientially lately and what do you know? When my choices are made based on facts, the Word of truth, the Spirit-leading of God, and practicality – the will of God is so much more clear – but something I’ve been realizing lately –
    I need to make decisions that please God. I get so worked up sometimes about the right or wrong choice that i live in an indecisive state and get absolutely nowhere. Even IF things are still cloudy and I am somewhat unsure/uneasy about a decision I’m making… IF I make the ‘WRONG’ choice – I am ultimately not going to mess up God’s plan! He is trustworthy and when I make choices while striving to please God most in them He blesses, regardless if I make a ‘mistake.’ God cannot be thrown off by me. That is it.

  2. Thank you so much for this article. It came at the right time when I had a crisis of faith. I began to submerse myself in the Word and the peace of God was healing (and continues to heal) my heart.

    I totally agree with you Libs. Well said.

  3. Thank you so much for this article.

    I am a 28 years old african woman and at a point I want to start a family. I am dating someone I love very much; he is a great guy and loves me very much. We want to get married before the end of next year and I am very happy with him.
    Now, there is someone else who I’ve known in a longtime and has now become a family friend. We have a history. He’s been talking about marriage and finally he is now ready immediately. My family likes him because he is from our tribe, responsible and from a good family. Naturally I like him.

    Truth is while he is ok and nice,he doesn’t make me happy, he is rather insensitive to my feminine emotional feelings and because of age gap and different philosophy about life, I fear I may never quite be fulfilled or truly happy in a marriage with him.

    Meanwhile, the other guy I’m presently dating, I’ve known for 4 years and have grown with. He is caring, very loving and sensitive. He is 4 years my senior and is my best friend. He doesn’t come from the same tribe like myself which doesn’t matter to me.
    He makes me happy and and shares similar views about life with me, we never lack what to talk about and turly happy with each other
    While I was battling the decision of who to settle with given time considerations, he got his admission for an MBA in the USA and is now filing his visa. This tore me apart and almost seemed like a sign to me becasue my goal for now is to settle down and start a family. But we talked about it and decided, we will start a family and then next academic year, he will leave for his study.

    Logically, what is right to do is marry this other guy who is responsible, from the same tribe with me, a family friend and who is also more financially bouyant and is ready NOW.
    But my inner most feeling knows that if there is life and all things being equal, I will be happier with the guy I’m dating presently. I feel this way becasue he makes me happy, understanding and my best friend.

    Please give me your candid advice.

    • Hi Cynthia,

      It sounds like your heart is in a predicament and I can certainly understand being confused. It sounds like the man you are in a committed relationship with and have made future plans with is the one your heart belongs to. Choosing a life-long spouse isn’t always about what makes the most logical sense but it is about what is God’s will for your life. After praying through this decision, what do you feel like God is saying to you? I don’t believe that God’s best for you, in marriage, is to marry someone who doesn’t respect you, isn’t your best friend or treat/lead you in a loving manner, no matter how much money or influence he has. What God desires for you in your future marriage is that you would both love Him, love each other, and your marriage would glorify Him. So, after praying through this decision, a man who loves the Lord, shares the same values as you, respects and loves you and you love him….well, that’s a man you most likely won’t regret choosing. I pray the Lord continues to guide you in this decision and He will be faithful to answer your prayers with His best for you!

      Diane Montgomery

  4. Hi, I am 26 years old. When I was 21, I got engaged after knowing and dating a guy for a total of 7 months. Soon after the true him came out, he lied to me, was suspended from school, said he was a Christian but didn’t really bear the fruit, had “eyes” for other girls, and was addicted to porn. I found out all of this in the 10 months that finally led me to break off the engagement. Two months after I met and began dating another man. The Lord had done a lot of work in my life in those 2 months. 9 months into the relationship, he broke up with me for no reason. For the next 3 months I was “yo-yoed” up and down (he would invite me over, tell me he missed me, etc). It was totally unfair and I was emotionally all over the place. So I told him I needed a month of no talking. 4 days later he begged me to be his boyfriend, tears and all (manipulation) and guess what!? I fell for it. 3 months later, he broke up with me again for no reason. This time I told him not to talk to me anymore, that made him angry. I learned through it and the study I was doing in Isaiah that I idolized marriage. So I committed the next year to being single. It was an amazing year of growth, joy, challenges, testings, tears and trials. So when the year was up, I entered into what I thought of as a second year of being single. All along I desired a significant other, but was enjoying the growth I was experiencing. That year (last year) I was studying Genesis. When I was studying when Abraham sent off his servant to find Isaac a wife, The Lord laid it upon my heart to pray in the same way the servant did…specifically and expectantly. So I prayed that I would meet my future husband at church, that he would see me serving and want to know who I am. Only God could answer in that way because I go to a very, very small church and I was the only young single (everyone else is married with children). Well about a month or maybe less than that after praying that way, I met James. I knew that day, my prayer was answered. I was immediately scared because of past hurt and a little surprised God had answered so quickly. I left after the service because of these feelings. But would you know, one of the kids fell of the slide and needed an ambulance, so naturally I stayed. James was 6 or so feet away from me while waiting (the boy was going to be okay). I wanted him to talk to me but was NOT going to pursue it at all, so I asked God if you want us to talk bring him over here. A few minutes later, he came over and started talking to me (he later said that he was being “drawn” to me and I hadn’t said anything about the way I prayed or what I asked God to do…James volunteered this info). We talked for 3 weeks, and then he came back (he lived in California and was here on business) for another business meeting (he came a week early to spend time with me). That whole week was amazing. I was scared to even kiss because of how kissing led to making out in my other relationships and I didn’t want to go there again. But we ended up kissing and making out. My consent was given. We talked for another 2 months and it was amazing how God lined things up in our lives (from what we were learning at church to just who we are as individuals). I remember being afraid of how things were going so fast because that’s what happened with the other two and it didn’t work out. God reassured me telling me that this was different and to trust him. So that’s what I did. I visited him in California to meet his family, friends and visit his church. I wanted to and was advised by my pastor to reciprocate the efforts and to see James in his environment. That week went so well, although we made out every day and they were intense, leaving me feeling really bad afterword. Each time I wanted to do it but then would feel bad afterword (we are both committed to not doing anything but kissing). I expressed my feelings about how we shouldn’t do it but then we would end up back in the same situation. 3 weeks later he moved to my state (Florida) so we could get to know each other better together (as was recommended and made possible by my pastor). We have had quite a few rough times (all pretty normal for any relationship). We have worked through differences, misunderstandings, etx. We love spending time together doing whatever. We had some trouble with the making out thing again but then we both committed to not doing that anymore and that’s been great. He totally respects me, helps me, is patient, loves God, is good with children, loves spending time with my family and is willing if not interested in doing what I like/am doing. He is an amazing person. One day my pastor called me to ask me to pray about whether James is the best leader for me. That through me into a state of doubt that has now lasted over a month. There’s no reason why he wouldn’t be a good leader for me. He has led me so much and in just the ways I need to be led. Fear of the unknown has consumed me. The what-ifs haunt me. What if he is hiding something, faking it

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s