Two words that stir up so much in girls these days.
I’ve seen a rather shocking escalation in the snarky comments and bitter rants of so-called Christian girls on the issue of singleness. In a short web search, I found a WikiHow page on “How to avoid being single and desperate” (No, I’m not linking it, cause relationship advice should come from the Author of relationships, not WikiHow). I also found an unreadable amount of personal blogs – mostly from the secular arena – detailing their frustrations, anger and answers to escape the trap of singleness.
In flipping through a couple of popular relationship books, it seems their answer is a combination of feminism and new age thinking. Something along the lines of: love yourself, become yourself, visualize your man, and go after him!
Now, obviously, as women who seek to honor God with our love life, we have a different set of relationship guidelines. Ours are undoubtedly harder – trusting, waiting, seeking God, living in today. And even once the guy finally materializes, there is the struggle with purity, balance, accountability, timing, etc. Nothing about male/female relationships is easy… because the purpose of relationships is to display God to a lost world.
Yet, quotes like these stir up all kind of bitter reactions:
“Your greatest need is not a spouse. Your greatest need is to be delivered from the wrath of God- and that has already been accomplished for you through the death and resurrection of Christ. So why doubt that God will provide for a much, much lesser need? Trust His sovereignty, trust His wisdom, trust His love.” – Single Blues in the Land of “I Do’s”
“When discontentment seeps into our lives, plaguing our thought life like a curse, we’re revealing what we think of ourselves. We have a sense of entitlement to certain things in our life because of certain reasons. After all, haven’t we worked hard to get where we want to be? We deserve to find the happiness a love would bring, so why can’t we seem to find it?” – Valentines Day Survivor
“The second reason singleness is a really good gift is because God is a really good gift-giver! Let’s face it, most singles aren’t completely contented with their singleness status…not 100% of the time at least. They desire at some point to be married. But most singles are single because God has determined it to be this way. Those who struggle with this lonely status can tend to view God as holding out on them, holding good from them. This couldn’t be further from the truth though. Because God is good (Exodus 33:19;Psalms 31:19; 107:1), the situations He brings into our lives are good (Romans 8:28-29), and the gifts that He gives are good for us (Matthew 7:11).” – Do I Have Singleness Cooties
Why? Why are Christian girls exploding with anger, resentment and desperation right now? Why such snarky put-downs about marriage? Has the church dropped the ball on addressing this issue? Are contentment and trust no longer emphasized in single girl small groups?
Girls, what is going on? How do we address it? How can we prevent this anger from permeating the next generation?