How Do Single Ladies Become Proverbs 31 Women?

In Part 1 of the Single Proverbs 31 Woman, I shared about a mother’s advice to her son, King Lemuel, to find a single woman who possessed the characteristics in Proverbs 31. If he found a single woman like her then he would find a woman he could cherish. Though you may not believe it, the Proverbs 31 woman can be single and have ALL the attributes listed in the passage. Through Christ, you can become a Proverbs 31 woman who is self-sufficient, a caretaker of all those around her, and a woman who fears the Lord! But how do single women apply the verses to their day-to-day lives?  What does a Single Proverbs 31 woman look like?

She Is Trustworthy All The Time (v.11-12)

She’s a trustworthy woman, friend, girlfriend and wife. “All the days of her life” means that, 24/7, the Proverbs 31 woman chooses to be trustworthy, do what’s in her future husband’s best interests and continue doing him good for the rest of her life. This needs to start before you say “I do” for it to continue once you’re married.  The Proverbs 31 woman lives a life that is consistent, above reproach, trustworthy, and brings good to those around her all day, every day.

People are watching you at all times; they’re watching your actions, listening to you, and evaluating your responses. It could be that your future husband is watching you right now and evaluating your interaction with others. “The woman of noble character does not just live in the present but carefully considers her interactions from the perspective of an entire lifetime – thereby earning the trust of her husband (should God provide, as well as her brothers in Christ.” (Carolyn McCulley, Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye)

She Takes Care of Her Home & Works Hard (v.13-15,18-19, 27)

A noble woman sacrifices some of her own comforts to do what’s best for those around her.
She also knows how to cook, clean, and manage her home. When we get married, a little switch doesn’t flip and we magically know how to cook or clean for our families. It takes some practice beforehand.  She doesn’t have to be Martha Stewart but she should have some working knowledge of household functions. It’s even a Scriptural mandate in Titus 2:5 for young women to learn how to manage their home.

Being a Proverbs 31 woman does use her time well, otherwise, she would never be able to get all this stuff done and do it well. Getting up earlier, making a plan for the day ahead or a to-do list can help with time management. A single Proverbs 31 woman isn’t afraid of hard work but finds pleasure in glorifying God through her job. She always maintains a good attitude, learning to be content in all circumstances whatever her job may be, however long the hours or horrendous the boss.

She’s Resourceful & Financially Responsible (v.16-19, 24)

Many times this passage refers to the woman having merchandise, making money, and using her resources for the best of her home. The single Proverbs 31 woman is business savvy: she knows how to budget, save, and make good financial investments. She doesn’t jump into buying a new car with her life savings but uses discernment before buying it.

She’s compared to a merchant ship and woman using a spindle because she makes sure her household has what it needs, even if it means putting in a little time to find the best deal or the best product. She’s resourceful and knows how to use her God-given talents to help provide for herself and others. It’s as simple as actually making some of the DIY’s on your Pinterest, figuring out how to make that too short maxi dress into a skirt. Being resourceful isn’t easy; it takes time, creativity and discipline but it’s worth it for a woman learning to become a God-glorifying, Proverbs 31 woman.

She Helps Those in Need (v. 20-21)

The Proverbs 31 woman not only takes care of her home but also those in need. She’s generous, concerned for the poor and loving to those less fortunate. Helping with food banks, teaching ESL to refugees, working at a homeless ministry are just some of the ways any woman can take care of those in need around her.

She Takes Care of Herself Too (v. 17, 22)

Her own needs aren’t completely put by the way side but they aren’t her first priority either. She puts others first but she also makes time for herself. Though, she isn’t frivolous or vain, but exudes femininity, fully embracing the woman God created her to be. She is beautiful inside through her fear of the Lord (v.30) but she doesn’t neglect her outward appearance. She’s a good steward of the body God has given her. As best she can, she keeps herself strong and healthy, through exercise and eating well; she cannot be accused of laziness. Since she’s taken care of God’s temple, she’s able to invest her time and energy fully into her school, work, and whatever other ministries God has put in her life. The single Proverbs 31 woman is capable and strong for the tasks set before her.

The Proverbs 31 woman clothed herself in purple and fine linen, which was a beautiful but pricey purchase. She knew it was ok to treat herself to something nice that she could afford because she was wise with her money. She doesn’t run up her credit card debt but she doesn’t always deny herself something that she finds beautiful and worth her hard earned money.  It’s ok to treat little yourself sometimes, whether that’s through a pedicure, buying that peacoat you’ve been wanting since last season, or getting some sushi on a Friday night. The modern single woman doesn’t have to sacrifice fashion, fun, or quality for herself just because she’s trying to be godly but she does use good stewardship and wisdom when pampering herself.

She Chooses A Quality Man (v. 22-23, 29)

Whether it’s clothes, home décor, or guys, the Proverbs 31 woman chooses to surround herself with quality. The husband the Proverbs 31 woman chooses is respected by many and gains favor in their community.  He’s also the type of man that will cherish her, compliment her, and let her know how valuable she is to him.

So, how does this apply to the single woman? Single Christian women should be discerning about the men they date. A woman should choose to date guys who are faithful men of God, living the Word out in their lives. Here’s a good test to see if a guy you’re interested in is a keeper. The single Proverbs 31 woman seeks the Lord’s will and uses the Bible as a guideline when thinking about dating a guy. Her dating and married life brings glory to God.

She Lives with Joy and Confidence (v.24-26)

A single Proverbs 31 woman is positive because she trusts in Yahweh. Only through Christ can you have strength, dignity, and joy.  She finds her confidence in Him, not in the clothes she wears, the job she has, or the in the guy she’s dating.  Since she has confidence in the Lord, she doesn’t live a life filled with worry, depression or anxiety but, instead, she’s able to look at the future with joy and pleasure, even laughter!

 

She Speaks with Wisdom & Kindness

What’s in your heart is what comes out and the Proverbs 31 woman’s heart overflows with wisdom and kindness. Everything she does is governed by kindness. She isn’t abrasive but kind and sympathetic; giving wise advice to others. Through her words and her life, you learn how to be kind. She doesn’t nag, complain, or gossip like the other women in Proverbs but her words uplift, edify, and glorify God (Prov. 21:19; 25:24.).

She Loves Children  (v. 28-29)

The single woman may not have children but she should strive to be the best aunt, big sister, or role model as possible. You can be a blessing to the next generations through loving, mentoring, and modeling godliness to the youth around you. The Proverbs 31 is called blessed because she’s been a godly role model, caring for children with wisdom and kindness.

She Looks to God, Not Her Looks or Personality, to Fulfill Her (v.30-31)

All your hopes and worth can’t be put in your beauty or charming ways: charm can hide a mean personality and beauty is meaningless, unless it’s also accompanied by godliness. Youth and beauty go away with time and charm disappears once you have a bad day, but fearing God is the only attribute of any real worth, the only one that lasts a lifetime and only gets more attractive. This woman is praised, not because of her status as a mother or wife, but because she’s a woman who fears and loves the Lord and that’s what makes her a treasure.

This beautiful description of a godly woman is a challenge to seek every godly virtue; she’s resourceful, strong, financially responsible, compassionate, wise, and dedicated to those in need. She doesn’t posses these on her own but is given them by the God she serves with her whole life.  Her character proves that she’s a precious gem and has surpassed all other women. The Proverbs 31 single woman strives for excellence in the Lord and doesn’t accept mediocrity in her relationship with God. You CAN have the rarity and beauty of such a woman. You CAN be a Proverbs 31 woman, whether you’re married or single.

What kind of woman are you? Are you waiting for a husband before you look at these verses or are you preparing yourself to be a woman who is far more precious than jewels?

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