Dear Moms of Teenagers,
I’ve noticed lately that you’ve been super stressed out by your teenagers. It seems like you’ve got a lot on your plate with your job, house work, homeschooling, and add to that your teenager doesn’t seem to be cooperating or making life easier. I’ve had many conversations with you and been listening as you vent to other moms about your teenager’s lack of work ethic or that they snuck out last night to see their girlfriend. I hear you use adjectives like lazy, rebellious, insolent, hard to handle, stubborn, rude, obstinate, irresponsible and some others that ‘must not be named.’ I’ve heard you say, “If you can just get through and survive the teenager years then….” or “Just try to keep your head above water and your hand from slapping your kid.” I know that I’m a new mom and still in the cute, baby phase that’s only filled with lots of poop, crying, and spit-up, instead of yelling, major attitude, and ‘I hate yous,’ so you might be rolling your eyes and thinking, “Oh, just wait til it’s your turn.”
I understand that the teenage years are filled with so much stress, challenges and feelings of failure because I was one of those awful teenagers that caused you so much pain. But now, I’m a mom too and I’m listening intently to your teenager problems to see what my future is, what I need to do as a mother and, to be honest, I’m scared, terrified, mortified, stunned, and, sometimes, almost ready to throw in the towel and give up on parenting. You’ve scared the pants off of me.
I want to learn from you, NEED to learn from you because you’ve been through far more trials and joys with parenting. You’ve got wisdom that I need to learn from; that’s what Titus 2 is all about. Women teaching women, wives teaching wives, and moms teaching moms to love their homes, their husbands and their children. (Ti. 2:3-5) But, honestly, what I’m learning is that there’s a stage of parenting to dread, to hate, and try to get through without going insane. I realize that the teenage (actually all the years of parenting) years aren’t full of cuddles, rainbows, and ‘Mom, you’re the best,” but they sound like a nightmare you’re just trying to survive until you wake-up. I hurt for you, dear mothers of teenagers, and I’m sad for all the pain and stress you’re going through. You work hard to keep your home together, your marriages together, and you’re doing the best you can…I see that.
Parenting is hard and you really do need to have time to vent to other moms, bear each other’s burdens and help each other out but, dear sister, your younger sisters in Christ need to hear some of the happy things about being the mom to a teenager. What are their talents? What did they do this week that you’re proud of? As the mom of a future teenager, I need some encouragement that God gives you grace, gives you strength, and fills your life with blessings, amidst the trials. I need to know the joys, the lessons God has taught you, and that your children are a blessing, even if they’re 12-21 years old. If I don’t learn how to be a godly mother through the bumps in the road and the times of laughter then who will I learn it from? Can we find ways to encourage each other on the this journey of motherhood?
So, moms of teenagers, I implore you to start helping us younger moms learn to not just survive the teenage years but to find ways to cherish them, find the beauty in our children, despite the challenges. Moms, you’re doing a great job and you’re in my prayers!
Thanks for listening to a mom that’s learning and helping me become a better one!
A Future Mom of a Teenager