There’s no snow on the ground, and it was a balmy 72 this afternoon. It’s difficult for this native New Yorker to imagine the Christmas season is HERE; it is though, and I am grateful for it. For along with Christmas comes all the festivities that I most enjoy: family within hugging distance, a cozy fire keeping the cold at bay, the smell of happiness found in Christmas trees and that holiday ham! But most of all, the reminder of all that God brought to our lives on that fateful day He allowed His Son to step into our world.
During this Christmas season, we at Unlocking Femininity are going to take a small break from our posting schedule to spend our time with our precious family and friends. We trust you’ll understand this brief hiatus and equally enjoy the time away from the computer which so easily distracts us from the important things in life – family. Some scripture that we will be meditating on is: Isaiah 7, Isaiah 9, Matthew 2, and Luke 2.
Join us back here on January 3rd as we dive into our series on 1 Timothy 2.
We wish you a very, Merry Christmas remembering that He is the reason for the season!!
The Team at Unlocking Femininity
“Who needs men?” the Feminists taunt.
I’ll tell you who – children.
“All the feminist rhetoric has not erased the deep-seated need that women have tucked in the recesses of their hearts-to be fathered by the father of their dreams. Little girls want a daddy to protect them, help them, guide them, nurture them, and cheer them on through the struggles in life.”*1
VH1 is now airing the Season 2 of Tough Love, a surprising hit among reality shows. Professional matchmaking team of mother and son take on 8 messed-up women with serious relationship hang-ups and teach them trust, respect and communication. The episode this past Sunday was surprisingly poignant, as the matchmakers had the women write letters to their fathers to reveal why the girls cannot have healthy, productive relationships with men. Every single girl had a bad or non-existent relationship with her father, including abandonment, abuse, neglect, and indifference. These are some of their letters.
Rocky is the crazy one; she is a single mother who flaunts her body and picks fights with the other girls. She wrote a song to her father, “How could you give me life and just leave me behind? I look at your face and see traces of mine. Not a call on my birthday, not ever a gift. When I blew out the candles you were always my wish. I will never make the same mistakes you did, every day of my life I’ll be there for my kid.”
Angel is closed off in relationships, never allowing any man to get close enough to care. She wrote to her Dad, “Why did you make me my Mom’s responsibility and not yours? All I ever wanted was your approval, for you to care. I’m sorry for my choices, and even though my life is not what you want, I still hate to disappoint you, which is why I lie to you.”
Jenna is a former obese girl whose self-esteem is non-existent. She wrote, “I’ve never been Daddy’s Little Girl. He is the most self-righteous, arrogant, critical man, and unfortunately I am just like him. At sixteen, when I was at my fattest, ugliest and most depressed I begged my father for help. He told me to stop crying, stop being a baby, and get over it.”
Sally, a girl who has been hurt in every relationship she has been in, said, “It’s been twenty years since I’ve seen your face, heard your voice. Twenty years since you have hugged me or kissed me or said you loved me. You will never walk me down the aisle or be there for the birth of my babies. You robbed my sister and I of any chance we had at having a normal healthy relationship. I hate you. I am terrified I will marry a man just like you.”
Liz, “I hate the fact that you were never present emotionally. Never once did you have an opinion about any matter in life, unless you were told to have an opinion by me, Mom or my brother Jacob. I wish you could have stood your grown at least once in your life, to give me an example of what a strong man should be like.”
Rocky grew up without a father and is now a single mother, raising her daughter without a father. Angel tells no one the truth about herself, her life or her past – she is so terrified of being disapproved of. Jenna is a beautiful sunny blond who hates herself, sees herself as ugly and unlovable and so men treat her that way. Sally has been abandoned by every guy she has ever dated. Liz breaks up with every guy she dates at the first sign of weakness. These women must work through their Daddy issues, forgiving him so they can heal before they will ever have a happy and healthy relationship with a husband.
Research results show that 24 million children (34%) live absent from their biological father. Approximately 40% of children in father-absent homes have not seen their father at all in the past year. About 50% of children living apart from their father have never even visited their father’s home. Studies have proven that children who live away from their biological fathers are more likely to be poor, to use drugs, to experience educational, health, emotional and behavioral problems, to be victims of child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior than their peers who live with their married, biological/adoptive parents. Similarly, girls without fathers are twice as likely to be involved in early sexual activity and seven times more likely to get pregnant as girls from stable two-parent homes.* 2
Reknown child sociologist, Dr. David Popenoe, said “Fathers are far more than just ’second adults’ in the home. Involved fathers bring positive benefits to their children that no other person can bring.” A study of school-aged children found that children with good relationships with their fathers were less likely to experience depression, to exhibit disruptive behavior, or to lie. This same study found that boys with involved fathers had fewer school behavior problems and that girls had stronger self-esteem. In addition, numerous studies have found that children who live with their fathers are more likely to have good physical and emotional health, to achieve academically, and to avoid drugs, violence, and delinquent behavior.*2
Little girls dream of being cherished by their fathers. There is no greater desire in the heart of a little girl than that of her father’s approval. Sadly, that is not the reality for most girls, both little and grown-up. While throughout history a portion of men have repeatedly failed as fathers, God has never failed. He is the original father who cherishes His children, who loves His children with an everlasting love, and who delights in spending time with you, His child.
A good friend of mine hates the idea of God as Father, because she was physically and sexually abused by her earthly father. She longs to have a good relationship with her Creator, but cannot think of Him as father because of all the pain that term brings to the surface. She and I sat across the table from each other, she was weeping for the loss of her childhood and I was crying for her pain. I silently begged God to give me something to say, because I knew she could never really know God if she did not know Him as Father. The Holy Spirit took over the conversation and I was able to explain to her that the man who biologically aided in her creation was not her father. Her earthly father was the antithesis of fatherhood. The man who contributed to her birth was living in sin and defiance of God’s plan for him as a father. God will punish that man, but God loves her as His daughter. So, rather than looking to an earthly man to see what God is like as father, look to God to see how men should be fathers.
In the Old Testament, the subject of “widows and fatherless” appears 42 times. And all 42 times, God is either naming Himself as the father of the fatherless, commanding His people to care for the fatherless, or He is calling down judgment on His people because they have ignored the widows and fatherless. David calls God a “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation,” Psalm 68:5. God is Father to every believer, but He plays a special role in the lives of those who do not have an earthly father. My friend qualifies as fatherless because her biological donor has abdicated God’s calling on his life to love, cherish and provide for his child. My friend is a daughter of the God of heaven and earth.
The New Testament not only presents God as Father, but names us, believers, as His children. And not just children – we are heirs to the Kingdom of our Heavenly Father! Romans 8:14-17 says, “For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ.” And Galatians 4:6-7 says, ““And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.” “Abba” is the Aramaic word for ‘father.’ Both of these uses of father are in the vocative case, meaning that they are directly addressing God. The double use of the name father, repeated both in Aramaic and in Greek, emphasizes that the God of Heaven and Earth is now our Father! The message Paul communicates here is that we are now God’s children, we no longer have to go through an intermediary to speak to our King, He is now our Father. All we, His children, have to do is cry out and He hears.
Every other religion has an all-powerful god or goddess who demands worship and obedience. Only Christianity worships an All-Powerful Yahweh God who invites us to become His children, to call Him ‘Abba Father.’ “I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty,” 2 Corinthians 6:18. God the Father is reaching out His hand to you, saying “I love you. I love you so much that I sent my only begotten Son to die for you that you could be my daughter. I love you, not because you are scheduled or beautiful, or talented or smart. I do not love you because you can do things for me. I love you because you are Mine.”
For those who have been blessed with good fathers, be thankful and allow God to fill in any gaps, because no human Dad is perfect. But for those whose fathers have abdicated their God-ordained role in your life – let God be your Father. All you have to do is accept Him as your Father. If you are a believer, God is already your Father, He is just waiting for you to open that part of your heart to Him so He can meet your needs. If you have never accepted Christ as Savior, you must do that to have an intimate, loving relationship with God as your Father, email us or click here to find out more.
Daughter, your Father is waiting with arms open wide.
*1 Dreams of a Woman, by Sharon Jaynes
*2 U.S. Children’s Bureau, Office on Child Abuse and Neglect, has a study out on ‘The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children’
By Candi Finch, Guest Contributor
When you are next in church, take a look around and notice how many men are in attendance compared to the number of women. Chances are if your church is similar to most in America, the congregation will be predominately female. Leon Podles, author of The Church Impotent: The Feminization of Christianity, remarks in his book that the church has become a women’s club run by a few men (ix). I have to be honest, when I first read that remark I balked at it a bit, but then I started to wonder why is it that men are less likely to attend church?
Is it the case that women are just more religious? George Barna in his book Index of Spiritual Indicators comments that “women are twice as likely to attend a church service during any given week. Women are also 50 percent more likely than men to say they are ‘religious’ and to state that they are ‘absolutely committed’ to the Christian faith” (87). The numbers seem to support a greater spiritual commitment among women. However, if you say that women are just more spiritual, you ignore the fact that the Bible states that all people, men and women, are sinners (Rom 3:23). There is not biblical evidence to warrant the sentiment that women just make better Christians. The Bible does support the notion that it is harder for some people to come to Christ than others but this is based on wealth/social status not gender (consider the story of the rich young man in Matt 19:24; Mk 10:25; Lk 18:25). The Bible also says that to enter the kingdom of heaven we must be like a little child (Mk 10:15). Paul notes that God often uses the weak and foolish of the world to confound the wise (1 Cor 1:27). It could be that women are more childlike, weak, foolish, and poor, but I am not sure I am ready to concede that point just yet. =)
So then, why do more women than men attend church? David Murrow in his book Why Men Hate Going to Church states “. . . if church was a place where men could be real and not religious, you’d see a lot more of them . . . It’s not that men are less religious than women because other religions have little trouble drawing males . . . Every Muslim man knows that he is locked in a great battle between good and evil, but most Christians today see their faith more in terms of having an unconditional love relationship with Jesus,” (vii-viii). Christianity, according to Murrow, is not presented to appeal to men’s need to conquer or lead.
In order to address the paucity of men in the church, one organization has decided to be unashamedly seeker sensitive to men. In a Newsweek article from October 20, 2006, one reporter recounted an experience while attending this new group. On a Sunday morning a worship leader stepped onto a stage and shouted to 200 gathered in the audience, “Are you ready to be a man? . . . Are you ready to grab your sword and say, ‘OK family, I’m going to lead you?’ Buckle up. This is GodMen!” So were some of the opening remarks of the first meeting of GodMen, a group formed by Stine and his friend Mike Smith after they read David Murrow’s book and realized the church had become feminized. Interspersed throughout his comments were several expletives. GodMen seeks “to create a place where men could admit to flaws without being judged bad Christians and be unapologetically male, including plenty of rock and roll and sex talk.” Oh, and by the way, no women allowed. Paul Coughlin, a speaker for GodMen and author of No More Christian Nice Guy, told a crowd at GodMen, “Christian men need to know that it’s OK to be tough. Jesus is tender and he’s tough. Right now, we are more disciples of Emily Post than we are Jesus.” Is this the answer to the lack of men in the church pews? Do men really want to attend a hyper-masculine service that does not allow women?
So what is the answer to the lack of men? I believe there are several answers. The church needs to examine the way in which worship is conducted. Does it appeal to women more than men? Just as GodMen went to one extreme, it could be that many of our churches have drifted the opposite direction without realizing it.
One other thing to consider is the teaching and preaching of the church. What a church teaches doctrinally will be a good indicator about the percentage of men in its congregation. In a 2001 article in Touchstone Leon Podles stated, “church attendance in the United States is about 60 percent female and 40 percent male. The more liberal the denomination, the higher percentage of females.” In fact, he notes that the only religions that sometimes have more men than women are Eastern Orthodoxy, Orthodox Judaism, Islam, and Eastern religions such as Buddhism. Consider also a Wall Street Journal article from October 21, 2005, where Christine Rosen notes that “Among the major Christian denominations, it is the mainline churches that suffer the largest gender gaps in church attendance. These churches, still pilloried by feminists for their patriarchal pretensions, have in fact become spiritual sorority houses. It is the more conservative denominations, such as the Southern Baptists, that have the most even ratios.” What a church believes about the Bible and its teachings does have an impact, clearly numerically, on whether a man will be attracted to the church.
So, what can women do to reverse the trend? Pray. Pray that God would give our leaders wisdom as they reach out to both women and men in their congregations. In an age where many churches are becoming so seeker sensitive that they compromise the truth, pray that God would give our pastors and leaders courage to proclaim the whole counsel of God unashamedly. Just as a missionary’s heart breaks for people who have not heard the Gospel, so should our hearts be breaking as we realize that many men in America are becoming the next unreached people group, and it could very well be that the way we “do” church is what is hindering them from hearing the Gospel.
Candi Finch is a Ph.D. student and adjunct professor in Women’s Studies at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. You can email her at cfinch@swbts.edu
PART TWO:
This is a two-part blog on the Great Gender Debate. To read the first half of this article, click here.
Role distinction a result of Creation or the Fall?
The second question one must grabble with in dealing with the creation account as it pertains to gender role assignment is the time element where this distinction falls into place, whether it be at the moment of Creation, or a result of the Fall. Egalitarians and biblical feminists alike would contend that role distinctions are a direct result of the sinful choices of Adam and Eve, citing Genesis 3:16 as their banner verse to stand under. Their credo claims on Galatians 3:28 give further insight to their far-reaching hermeneutics as they say that “If men and women enjoy spiritual equality under the new covenant, then this equality is fundamentally contradicted by an exclusively male prerogative to interpret and determine the Word and the will of God authoritatively in the home and in the church. Galatians 3:28 does require the obliteration of this gender role distinction.”
Combating this kind of logic, Renckens, in his work, Israel’s Concept of the Beginning, exposes the fallacy by stating, “The phenomenon of murder is also a consequence of sin (4:1-16), but it remains nevertheless a violation of the law, even of the law of fallen nature. Thus if woman is shown to be the life companion of man, this is not by way of idealization. And still less should her motherhood be considered as essentially a penalty for sin, even if it is in fact only mentioned after the Fall.” Whereas, their claims would make sense to counter-act their misguided interpretation of Genesis 3:16, a natural reading of the first three chapters of Genesis would disprove these allegations. Mary Kassian, in a very logical way, lays this theory to rest in her explanation of the original relationship between Adam and Eve:
“Adam recognized the unity between himself and the female. However, he also recognized his God-given responsibility and authority by naming her. (Adam’s act of naming the woman occurs again in Genesis 3:20 when he gives her the name “Eve” – mother of all living.) If the woman and man were meant to have identical roles, God would have named the woman, just as He had named the man. In giving Adam the responsibility to name the woman, a hierarchical relationship between Adam and the woman is established from the very outset. This in no way belittles the woman or assigns to her a lesser role. It simply reflects the difference between the roles that God had assigned to each. Adam was to be the leader in the relationship and the woman was to be the helpmate. These assigned roles blended together and coexisted alongside a perfect oneness and unity.”
Wayne Grudem supports this claim with ten clear indications from Scripture that male headship in marriage was established before the fall. They are as follows: the order of creation, the representation of the human race (1 Cor. 15:22), the naming of woman (Gen. 2:23), the naming of the human race (Gen. 5:1-2), the primary accountability of God to Adam first (Gen. 3:9), the purpose of Eve’s creation (Gen. 2:18), the conflict that ensues after the fall (Gen. 3:16), the restoration found in Christ does not negate male headship (Col. 3:18-19), the mystery spoken of by Paul (Eph. 5:31-32), and finally the parallelism with the Trinity. These are laid out in his book, Building Strong Families, where he says, “Here then are at least ten indications of differences in the roles of men and women before the Fall. Some of these indications are not as forceful as others, though all have some weight. Some ‘whisper’ male headship, others shout it clearly. But they form a cumulative case showing that Adam and Eve had distinct roles before the Fall, and that this was God’s purpose in creating them.” (I highly recommend the purchase of this book. It is a great resource for exactly what the title suggests – building of strong families.) Dr. Hamilton, assistant professor of Biblical Studies at Southwestern’s Houston Campus, in an article written for the Wheaton Theology Conference, makes a great case by denoting the order of appearance in the array of characters of Genesis 2.
“The characters in the narrative appear in the following order in Genesis 2: God (2:2-5), man (2:7), the animals (2:19), then the woman (2:22), with the solidarity of man and woman stressed in 2:23. This order is upended in Genesis 3, with the characters coming on the scene as follows: the snake (3:1a), the woman (3:1b), the man (3:6), and finally God (3:8). This structure lends itself to the conclusion that by approaching the woman the snake is subverting the created order, an order reflected in 1 Corinthians 11:3: God-Christ-man-woman. Based on what we have seen from Genesis, complementary gender roles are not introduced as part of the curse on humanity. Rather, what seems to be introduced in Genesis 3:16 is feminine rebellion against the structure of authority that God has built into his creation. If the attempt to deceive the woman is in fact a subversion of the created order, this would explain the appeal to the sequence in which the man and woman were made both in 1 Timothy 2:13 and in 1 Corinthians 11:8, with 1 Timothy 2:14 elaborating upon the situation in order to clarify Paul’s point.”
Is there any cosmic significance to these distinctions?
Never before has a generation had to fight harder for the biblical gender roles than the generation of 2000. With wide-spread feminism seeping its way into the congregations of fundamental evangelical denominations, more and more “theologians” have emerged that interpret Scripture with a cultural hermeneutic mindset resulting in a flawed analysis of what Scripture is really saying. For example, Elaine Storkey, an “internationally renowned” theologian and sociologist, says, “The verses of Genesis are about something much bigger, namely, God’s power in creating the human race, making male and female together in the image of God, and giving them the cultural mandate.” Later on when asking what the roles of men and women should be, Storkey remarks, “Not only have these changed considerably over time, but the Bible is also remarkably silent about gender roles in parenting and household activities. In fact, whenever the issue comes up at all, the teaching is almost always non-differentiating.”
Why has this topic of creation order come under such attack by feminism in recent years? Dr. Jack Cottrell, in Gender Roles and The Bible, suggests that “By denying man was created before the woman, they can negate the argument for male headship based on temporal priority of creation.” In his excellent explanation of the effects of feminism on the interpretation of such key passages like Genesis 1-3, Dr. Jack Cottrell argues that “if Genesis 1 does teach simultaneous creation of the male and female, then two consequences follow. First, it puts Genesis 1 in conflict with Genesis 2, which clearly teaches that the male was created first. Second, the idea of simultaneity puts Genesis 1 in conflict with the teaching of the Apostle Paul, who on two occasions affirms the temporal priority of the creation of the male.” These are concepts one finds difficult to work through if they believe in the inerrancy of Scripture and its authority in our lives.
By taking a natural reading of Genesis 1-3, we may see that there is a definite design to the creation order as set forth by God in His infallible Word, and that such design holds with it a mandated order of authority in the home and the church that is undeniably significant to our generation today. So, to answer your question: Yes, Scanzoni and Hardesty, there is an order to creation, and it, indeed, is of much cosmic significance.
Recommend reading and some sources used in this blog: (Email me at sbubar@swbts.edu for a complete listing of all sources used)
Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by John Piper and Wayne Grudem
Building Strong Families by Wayne Grudem
Women, Creation, and the Fall by Mary Kassian
“Is there an order of creation, and is it of any cosmic significance?” This is a question posed by Letha Scanzoni and Nancy Hardesty in their egalitarian book, All We’re Meant To Be. This question is also asked by many women and men in the pews of our most fundamental churches, questioning the culture of our day and the justifications it seemingly is bringing into our Christian circles. With the rise of feminism and the spotlight on this being a “Woman’s World,” one begins to question where it all began. Where do we find the basis of our gender roles? And what is the purpose in establishing a time frame of gender role development?
Complementarian theologian, Raymond Ortlund, in his article published in Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, states his reason for bringing the argument back to the first three chapters of Genesis, “because as Genesis 1-3 go, so goes the whole Biblical debate. One way or the other, all the additional Biblical texts on manhood and womanhood must be interpreted consistently with these chapters. They lay the very foundation of Biblical manhood and womanhood.” Mary Kassian echoes these thoughts in her book, Women, Creation and the Fall, when she says, “An understanding of creation is central to a correct understanding of male and female roles, as all Biblical teaching on roles is contingent on this historic event. Gender roles are rooted in the creation order, and apart from this context, cannot be understood.” Self-proclaimed ‘biblical feminists’ would like to suppose that creation order has nothing to do with the distinction of roles or ‘inequality’ of men and women, and that inequality is a result of the fall. This is what Rebecca Groothius claims in Good News for Women, stating, “Male rule and pain in childbearing are clearly presented in this verse (Genesis 3:16) as two of the consequences of sin that would be experienced uniquely by the woman.” One must challenge the accuracy of such radical claims by our biblical feminists, and in doing so establish the time frame of the creation order, whether it be in Genesis 2 or in Genesis 3, all in an effort to understand exactly what God’s design and purpose was for us as women today.
To do this, there are three questions that must be answered: Do chapters 1 and 2 of Genesis hold two differing creation accounts; is role distinction a result of creation or the fall; and, is there any cosmic significance to these distinctions? This first question I will answer today; the remaining two will be address in the next article posted on the sixth.
Differing Creation Accounts in Scripture?
The recent attack on gender roles has brought about this idea that Genesis 1 and Genesis 2 hold two differing ’stories’ surrounding the creation narrative. A foundational understanding of the creation account must first reckon with the differing narratives found in Genesis 1 and 2. Looking at them as two separate and opposing stories, Scanzoni and Hardesty claim that, “Genesis 1 and 2 actually differ concerning the order of creation. In Genesis 1, male and female are said to be created simultaneously by God as the culmination of creation. If beings created first are to have precedence, then the animals are clearly our betters. In Genesis 2, ha-‘adam is created prior to the animals, but the culmination of God’s creative activity is Eve.” Staking these kinds of claims reveals the assumption that Scripture has some major inconsistencies found from the very beginning of its pages, and thus is not to be trusted. However, operating under the presupposition that Scripture is authoritative, and as such a natural reading of it, along with the work of the Holy Spirit,will enlighten the reader to the meaning found in it, we can conclude that there is a logical explanation for the two seemingly different accounts of creation found in Genesis 1 and Genesis 2. In his commentary on Creation and the Fall, Dietrich Bonhoffer explains the duplicity of the creation accounts, “The first account is written entirely as from above, from God’s point of view. On the other hand, the second account is about the near world and the near Lord upon the earth, living together with Adam in Paradise.” Raymond Ortlund affirms this by saying, “There is a paradox in the creation account. While Genesis 1 teaches the equality of the sexes as God’s image-bearers and vice-rulers on the earth, Genesis 2 adds another, complex dimension to Biblical manhood and womanhood. The paradox is this: God created male and female in His image equally, but He also made the male the head and the female the helper.” Within the framework of God’s Word being inerrant and inspired, we must conclude that there cannot be two separate accounts of the same event recorded merely verses apart, but that there is one account, with two narratives: the first being an overview and the latter a detailed version.
I cannot stress aptly enough how important it is to come to a conclusion on this topic of the creation account. This point alone effects our lives as women and as believers. If we do not come to the conclusion that there was only ONE creation account established, then Scripture has lost its authority and significance in our lives. To say that they are differing is to say that Scripture is untrue, and, therefore, God is not to be trusted. The gender issue IS complex, but it will only get more and more complicated as the next generation comes into view. With the Adam Lambert’s and Lady Gaga’s in our culture and so-called Christians affirming homosexuality and confusing gender roles in our churches, these questions are not getting any easier to answer. But we must face them with the absolute truth of God’s Word and a concrete trust in Christ. We must not bury our heads in the ground in hopes that these issues will just blow over with the sands of time. They won’t. We must study. We must learn. We must equip ourselves and the generations to come.
This is the foundational conclusion that our other two questions will be built off of. Come back on Sunday, December 6th, to read on the remaining questions in this great gender debate:
Are role distinctions a result of Creation or the Fall?
And is there any cosmic significance to these distinctions?
Obsessed is the riveting movie about a married man whose office assistant imagines an affair with him and then becomes obsessed with their relationship, which turns fatal. It shows how the gradual progression from slight flirting can lead to a potentially ruined marriage. Letting little sins slide leads to major downfalls. When boundaries are not established, sin can creep in easily. Boundaries must exist to protect yourself and your relationships.
The movie begins with the husband (Derek) meeting Lisa (the assistant) in an elevator. She drops some things on the floor and he,” innocently” helps her, touching her hand and then glances at her thigh. This then leads into little glance by Derek towards Lisa. He’s not acting on anything but is subtly “checking her out.” RED FLAG! This is the beginning of letting sin creep in. Derek says he would never have an affair on his wife (Sharon) and even tells her, “I only have eyes for you.” But Scripture tells us in Matt. 5:28, “But I say to you everyone who looks on a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Not only did Derek commit sin in his heart when he looked at Lisa, she committed a sin by dressing in a way and putting herself in positions so as to make him notice her. This is a good lesson for us ladies. We must make sure that what we wear is not decided upon because we want men to “check us out.” That should never be a motivation for us. Let’s help our brothers out. Men need to also make sure their eyes do not look at women in a wrong way. I’m not saying men should never look at women but it is how they look that makes the difference. When the cheerleaders come on the screen during a football game, men should take care and look away. Those cheerleaders dress in a way because men like it but that doesn’t mean it’s right or godly to look at them. Those looks lead to sinful thoughts.
The biggest downfall of all though was Derek never told his wife about Lisa coming on to him and trying to start an affair with him. His wife had made a rule that he would have no female personal assistants. A very wise rule to have in a marriage relationship, by the way. Boundaries must be in place to protect the marriage bed and keep it pure.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. ~ Heb. 13:4
In a marriage, the two are one and thus nothing should be hidden from each other. We are to speak truth in love at all times, even though it may hurt the person at the moment.
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is that Head, that is, Christ. ~Eph. 4:15
The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in men who are truthful. ~Prov. 12:22
When Derek’s wife finally found out about Lisa, she didn’t believe her husband because he had been hiding the truth from her, even though he never cheated on his wife. She was unable to trust him because he had lied to her. She felt betrayed. If he had been upfront and honest from the beginning he would have proven himself trustworthy. There should be nothing hidden in a marriage. The two are one: “And the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh.” ~Mk. 10:8
He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. ~Prov. 28:13.
When there are things hidden within a marriage, it starts to put an invisible rift in the marriage. The person hiding the truth is in fear of being caught and only hurts the other when the truth finally comes out because it will. It always does. “Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known.”~Lk. 12:2
If the Hoover Dam had little cracks everywhere, what would happen? The whole thing would break apart, destroying itself and everything around it. It’s the same with sin in our lives. If we allow little sins here and there, they will all add up, destroying us and hurting those around us.
The story of David and Bathsheba is a great example of this. David’s “little sin” of looking at Bathsheba led to even greater sin (that of adultery and murder) and even the death of an innocent man and baby (2 Sam.11-12). If only he had looked away from her immediately. If only he hadn’t acted upon his attraction to another man’s wife. If he had fled from that “little sin”, lives and heartache would have been avoided. He gave Satan a foothold by just one lingering look at Bathsheba.
Things to Remember:
1. Don’t give Satan a foothold by letting little sins creep in.
..And give no opportunity to the devil. ~ Eph. 4:27
2. Do speak the truth in love at all times, to everyone.
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. ~ Eph. 4:25
3. Don’t look with lust on anyone that is not your spouse.
But I say to you everyone who looks on a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. ~ Matt. 5:28
4. Do run away from all sexual sin.
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. ~ 1 Cor. 6:18
Let’s learn from David and Derek’s mistakes so we can give an account to God that is honorable (Rom. 14) and glorify Him with our lives and relationships.
For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.~ Phil. 2:13-16.
Divorce. It seems to be the “it” thing to do in Hollywood.
The most recent celebrity divorce was finalized two weeks ago, when Usher ended his marriage to his wife of two years, Tameka Raymond. The nastiest divorce of 2009 has been that of Jon and Kate Gosselin , who are about a month away from finalizing their divorce. Kate keeps all eight children. We all remember the marriage and divorce of Britney Spears and Jason Allen Alexander, which took 55 hours from start to finish.
Clearly, marriage is not valued in Hollywood and divorce is the norm. But surprisingly, the issue of divorce is not a new phenomenon. Moses had to address the issue of divorce among the people of Israel – before they ever actually settled in the Promised Land. Jesus was faced with the issue of divorce in Matthew 19 and Mark 10.
At the time of the writing of Mark 10, there were two schools of religious teaching. The School of Shammai was known for holding to teachings that bind (conservative or strict interpretations of Scripture), while the School of Hillel is known for a religious interpretation that looses (we would call that “liberal”). In respect to the divorce issue, the followers of Shammai believed that the only reason to issue a bill of divorcement was if the marriage vows have already been broken by adultery. In contrast, the House of Hillel argued that divorce was legal for any reason, including annoyance or embarrassment. These two schools of interpretation heavily impact the divorce controversy found in Mark 10.
Mark 10:2-3 “And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” Jesus knew their hearts, recognizing that the question went far beyond the issue of divorce and was really asking whether Jesus had come to uphold the Law or destroy it. In asking what Moses commanded, it is clear in context that Jesus was asking for the instruction found in Genesis 2:24, which He mentions just a few verses later in the passage. But rather than answering with the numerous passages on God’s plan for and blessing on marriage, the Pharisees bring up the one exception clause found in the Old Testament.
Mark 10:4 “They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.”” The Pharisees’ answered Jesus question by summarizing Deuteronomy 24:1 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found uncleanness in her, and writes her a bill of divorce” The Hebrew word for uncleanness is ‘erwath dabhar’ and is literally translated “nakedness,” and is used 27 times in the Old Testament, with all 27 times meaning sexual sin. The School of Shammai held to a strict interpretation of this passage, which allowed for divorce only in the case of marital unfaithfulness. The Pharisees did not mention the stipulation of a wife being found unclean, which indicates that they were of the School of Hillel, allowing divorce for any reason. The pagans, those who lived around the Israelites during the time of Deuteronomy, taught that the husband had total rights over his wife; she was his property. He was legally able to kill her for suspicion of adultery or divorce her for no reason at all. When Moses wrote this law on divorce, in Deuteronomy 24, he was not condoning divorce but rather restricting the sinful divorce practices that Israelites borrowed from the pagans. Moses required a formal divorce with a bill of divorcement, rather than merely a verbal statement of rejection, which provided protection for women from the whims of sinful men.
Mark 10:5 “And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.”” Jesus does not deny that Moses permitted divorce; rather He reminds them that Moses made one concession because of the sinfulness of the people. Moses’ command was designed to limit abuse that was already occurring, not endorse it. Such abuse was an outward symptom of an inward sin condition, referred to in the Old Testament as hardness of heart. The fact that the Pharisees built their theology on the necessary evil of the Mosaic command is evidence that they had not outgrown the hard-heartedness of their ancestors. No matter what concessions Moses had been forced to grant, it does not negate the sacred design of God that man and woman become one flesh in marriage. Mankind can do nothing to cancel out God’s original design for marriage.
Mark 10:6-8 “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Jesus shocked His disciples by rejecting both sides of the rabbinic debate. Rather than going to the contested text in Deuteronomy, Jesus referred back to the beginning of marriage. Ultimately the answer to this problematic issue does not lie in the legal codes, traditional practices or human solutions but in God’s creative design found in Genesis 1:27 and 2:24. His referral to the creation narrative elevates the question to a higher level, incorporating God’s original purpose for marriage in this debate on divorce. Genesis 2:24 commands both husband and wife to mutual fidelity and forbids adultery. Since God created the marriage relationship, He is a conscious partner in every marriage. He is instrumental in the two becoming one flesh. Genesis 2:24 is not addressing Adam and Eve, but is added to provide the reader with insight into the Divine nature of the union between husband and wife. And so marriage is comprised of two human beings and their Creator. Divorce, however, is a human act, and the human does not have the authority to dissolve what has been created by the Divine.
Mark 10:10-12 “And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”” Jesus made it clear to the Pharisees that divorce is the human attempt to dissolve a divinely constituted union. Now He focuses on the aftermath of divorce: remarriage, which He condemns as adultery. The formality of legal divorce leaves the marriage union whole, because the physical bond is still intact. It is the second marriage, and subsequent sexual union, that breaks the union of the first marriage – through an act that God considers adultery. While divorce does not break the marriage tie, adultery does break it. Jesus is quite clear in stating that a man who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against his former wife. This was a completely new idea to the Pharisees and to Jews in general. Rabbinic Law discusses the sin of a man committing adultery against another man, by seducing his wife. On the flip side, Rabbinic Law also addresses a wife committing adultery against her husband by having sexual union with another man. But never before was a husband accused of committing adultery against his wife. With this one statement, Jesus elevated the position of the wife to equal dignity as her husband and demanded the same fidelity of the husband as was required of the wife.
The emphasis Jesus places on the creation account of marriage reveals to all that no human can undo what God has done between a couple in marriage. Two become one, each becomes a part of the existence of the other. Such a union cannot be created by humans, but is a Divine institution. No human law can dissolve what God created without sinning. Jesus chooses to emphasis the overarching Scriptural principle of the sanctity of marriage, rather than camping on the one permission loophole. Jesus did not teach that the innocent party must divorce the unfaithfulness one, because the binding commitment of marriage does not depend upon human will or individual behavior, but rather on God’s original design and purpose for marriage, found in Ephesians 5:22-33. Divorce is never God’s choice. God hates divorce, Mal 2:16. God never accommodates or compromises His principles on the matter of divorce, but He does redeem and restore any who seek His forgiveness.
On the Ellen DeGeneres show, actor Will Smith spoke of the secret to his successfully marriage to Jada Pinkett Smith, “What I found is divorce just can’t be an option…and I think that’s the problem with L.A. – there are so many options. So a huge part of the success for Jada and I is that we just removed the other options.”
The statistics are overwhelmingly grieving….
- 1.3 million women are battered each year by an intimate partner.
- In the United States, every 9 seconds, a woman is physically battered.
- One out of every four women will experience domestic violence at some point in her life.
- Females between the ages of 20-24 are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.
- 81% percent of women that are stalked by a current or former intimate partner are eventually physically assaulted by them; 31% are also sexually assaulted by the stalker.
- Of the women who report being battered by their husbands, one third of those also report marital rape.
- The vast majority of domestic violence’s cases are never reported.
But the numbers become all the more grieving when they represent a violated woman in your neighborhood, a battered face in your school, or a silenced voice in your church.
Tragically, for many battered women seeking refuge from domestic abuse in the church, their pleas fall on oblivious ears. One woman tells of her pastor’s reaction to her abuse: “His advice was to ‘Pray harder, have more faith, and be grateful for your six children.’” For many women in violent homes, their husband’s behavior is the result of alcohol abuse and pornography addiction. What is even more reprehensible is that abused women in the church are often blamed for their own assault. In a survey of 65 battered women who were all actively involved in a community of faith, 86% of them were told by a pastor that they were responsible for their abuse.
Some Christians blame spouse abuse on biblical submission. According to this view, the problem of spouse abuse within the Church is in telling wives to submit to their husbands. The book, Battered into Submission, claims, “a battered woman’s understanding of the principle of submission will have a profound impact on how she responds to abuse.” One pastor compared the potential abuse of male headship/female submission to the tyranny of World War II’s Nazi Germany. Another source says that religious women are less likely to leave the abusive situation and more likely feel guilt for the perception of failing God and their families by leaving their marriage.
But submission isn’t the problem, sin is. Blaming and abolishing God’s design for gender roles in marriage doles out the wrong prescription for a misdiagnosis. As Dr. Russell Moore of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY explains,
Male headship is defined in Scripture as a man giving up his own wants in order to care for his wife “as his own flesh” (Eph 5). A man who would see such headship as a warrant to abuse is not simply confused. He is a blasphemer who does not grasp the gospel itself. An abusive man is no more representing biblical patriarchy than a father who gives his child a snake when he asks for a fish is representing the fatherhood of God. (CBMW.org)
Just as Christ gave His life for his bride, “in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body,” (Eph. 5:28-29). To say that the biblical design for a man’s self-sacrificing leadership and female voluntary submission is a platform for abuse is a violation of Scripture and an assault on God’s heart for women.
Sadly, most of the Christian books reaching out to abused women say that the solution is to redefine the roles within the home by dismissing submission. Books like No Place for Abuse and Ten Lies the Church Tells Women, claim that a wife’s biblical submission is essentially her imprisonment. And yet, as Dr. Moore contends, the Scripture’s design for true male headship provides women with physical and emotional security. Our Heavenly Father is the ultimate women’s advocate, who charges husbands and fathers to lay down their lives for the protection of their wives and children. Clearly, submission isn’t the problem…sin is.
For believers, as advocates of God’s design for marriage, we must intervene when God’s plan for headship/submission is violated and abused. A woman and her children’s physical safety is the immediate priority (not only for the mother, but for the next generation: 75% of abusers have been abused themselves or witnessed the abuse of their mother as children). In an abusive situation, a battered woman has every right to remove herself and her family from a violent home until the husband has proven himself changed, trustworthy, and under the accountability of the church body.
For the woman in the church trapped in an abusive home, God never intends or expects you to “submit” to physical, emotional or sexual abuse. It shouldn’t hurt to stay home. From the Garden of Eden to the United States of 2009, God designed women to be protected, provided for and cherished. His original plan for male leadership, though now distorted by sin, was designed for her good. While the problem is prevalent and the effects are devastating, we serve a healing Savior who promises the hurting woman:
“Fear not, for you will not be ashamed; be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced; for you will forget the shame of your youth, and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more. For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called…In righteousness you shall be established; you shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear; and from terror, for it shall not come near you. If anyone stirs up strife, it is not from me; whoever stirs up strife with you shall fall because of you.” (Isaiah 54:4-5, 14-15)
For a complete list of sources and statistical data, please email me at kmccoy@swbts.edu.
Who are the superstars of the Bible? Who would you list? Jesus—of course. But who else? Most Christians would put Paul in their “Top Three.” He’s a great role model, but look how he described himself.
Near the beginning of his ministry he wrote, “I am unworthy to be called an apostle” (1Cor. 15:9), halfway through he proclaimed, “I am the very least of all the saints” (Eph. 3:8), and at the end he told Timothy he had been “the chief of sinners” (1Tim. 1:15).
Paul increased more and more in humility because his focus was in the right place, on the right Person. Paul’s passion was to know Christ and Him crucified (1Cor. 2:2). There’s nothing more humbling than that image of our Lord, and nowhere is humility better described than Philippians 2’s Hymn to Christ.
What is the main thing there? It’s humility. Christ was the most humble One. The most powerful One became the most humble One. We always say that a Christian is a “little Christ,” but are we “little humble ones”?
If we had to take a quiz right now could we say that we’re known for our humility? I’d have to ask myself if I could even answer “yes” to whether I’m even trying to humble. Do I even have a desire to be humble?
If we’re not sure how we’d answer, let’s consider this. Is it more important to us that God’s kingdom grows or that it grows because we helped it grow? “Do I want the credit? Do I want my friendships to get better so that everyone says, ‘We couldn’t have done it without her’? Do I want a God honoring marriage and family so that everyone can see my talents? Do I want the glory, or do I want the benefits of God working in me?”
What about our churches? If anything shouldn’t our churches and we as members be known for humility? Do our churches want God to move mightily in our cities but only on the condition that He acts through our particular church?
Many times we allow our pride to tell us that God needs us—as if God couldn’t work His will in the world without us. We’ve got to get rid of any prideful thoughts that whisper to us, “God’s lucky we’re on His team.” God can do it without any one of us. Think about the biblical examples. God can raise up rocks to cry out (Luke 19:40); He replaced the people’s choice for a king with a shepherd boy whose heart belonged to Him (1Sam. 16:1,7).
I struggled with writing this blog because I haven’t mastered humility. I’m not humble, and immediately, once I’ve made just a little progress, I start to take pride in how “humble” I am! But it’s not just that. I fear that this is a biblical lesson that receives barely more than a nod from people. As John Selden (1584-1654) stated, “Humility is a virtue all preach but none practice, and yet everybody is content to hear.”
So why is humility important? Humility is vital if we’re going to accept God’s grace. Here’s what I’ve learned so far: we can’t be dependent on ourselves and recipients of God’s grace at the same time (James 4:6).
This might be a good moment to take a look around and see how dependent you are on God’s grace. You’re breathing oxygen. Your brain is functioning. But besides that you can have an abundant life in Christ now and forever.
Well, since I’m still working—or at least trying to work—on humility, I’m not sure I can provide a satisfactory definition for it. However, like all humans, I’ve gotten a good grasp on the pride thing. Here’s how I’d define “pride.” Pride is when we stop realizing that any good thing in us came from God and not ourselves. I really believe that to keep away from pride we have to keep focused on humility. We have to constantly remind ourselves of God’s grace toward us and in us.
Every night before my husband and I go to bed we try to read a little from the Bible. We read a paragraph, talk about it, and pray. Of course it’s always beneficial, but some nights it seems like my past few weeks—or even months—have been leading up to this little portion of God’s inspired Word.
We began reading the Passion Narrative in Luke, and I was confronted by the overpowering humility of Christ. Evil people blindfolded Him. They hit Him, spat on him, beat Him, and mocked Him saying “Who hit you?” I realized Christ had the right to exalt Himself then and there—but He didn’t. The depths of humility Jesus was willing to go for me far out shadowed anything I had ever done or even been willing to do for my Lord.
We don’t have to work to be prideful. If we stop working we’ll revert to it naturally. However, to have the mind of Christ, to grow in His humility, we have to fight for it. We have to keep God’s grace ever before our eyes. We have to love others more than ourselves. We have to clothe ourselves in humility like putting on a straight jacket that not only keeps control of our tongue but guards our thoughts.
“Many would be scantily clad if clothed in their humility.”
-Donald DeMarco
I would like to publically offer a huge ‘THANK YOU” to my husband who over the past week has listened to my thoughts on humility and has helped me formulate them for this blog entry.
Today is November 18th. It is a special day in my family. Today is my mother’s birthday. I will not betray her and tell you which birthday she is celebrating today, but I would like to take this moment to publically “rise up, and call her blessed” for she has been an ever present example to me of who I should become. So, to celebrate her birthday, I would like to give her an opportunity to share her nuggets of wisdom that I have heard so often over the course of my life:
“FOR THE SAKE OF MARRIAGES, WE DO HAVE TO STOP”
By Shirley Bubar (Mrs. Paul)
An excerpt from a book that was reviewed by msnbc.msn.com on September 14th has prompted a response from me. The book, “THE SUPERIOR WIFE SYNDROME”, by psychologist Carin Rubenstein, has brought out many thoughts. I would like to share my response; that of a woman who has been married over 46 years – and to the same man! We have a wonderful marriage; one that is far better than anything I could have ever imagined, even though we are at best a couple of very imperfect human beings. Just by merit of the fact that we are two thinking, fairly intelligent human beings living together and loving each other this long allows for some consideration.
Carin Rubenstein seems to feel that superiority or inferiority is synonymous with the privilege of leadership. This is an extremely erroneous assumption. How many times does a worker know more than their superior? What does “superiority” have to do with leadership?! Furthermore, “superiority” in WHAT? Superiority in intelligence? In physical strength? In making money? In competence with figures? With motors? With Children? Really, how absurd! Further, if it is superiority that gives one the right to lead in a business, in a country, in a schoolroom, in a marriage, we are ALL in BIG trouble. You can see for yourself the error of this line of reasoning.
First, we must realize that the world’s system of leadership is warped, at best. The responsibility factor is to the one who is in charge; and I believe that Dr. Rubenstein is primarily saying that the smartest, strongest, most organized, most capable, most flexible, etc. etc. is the one that is basically “in charge.” Therefore, she associates superiority with tasks, and tasks with power — and, basically, this is the main struggle at the base of most human relationships. I would even be so bold to say that ALL conflict in relationships has this as the lowest common denominator: “Who’s got the power?”
I know, I know … You are thinking, “Come on, it’s not THAT simplistic! Surely we are more interesting and more complicated than that!” Well, I’ve been testing this out for several years and have found that the bottom line, more times than not, boils down to this one problem. Now, having said this, there are many ways the “power struggle” can rear its ugly head.
But let’s go back to Dr. Rubenstein’s argument, back to the husband/wife situation of superiority and the ramifications:
• When my husband and I were married over 46 years ago, I stood in the front of a church in beautiful Northfield, MA and vowed, before God and the 300+ family, friends and guests that were there, that I would love, honor and obey my husband. (I know, I know, that was very old-fashioned of me; but we found precedence for these vows in the Bible and were not afraid to believe it to be part of God’s plan!) My dear husband promised to love me, protect me and take care of me, as long as we two shall live. It was pretty cut and dried.
• Did everything go smoothly? NO! Did we ever have any bumps in the road? OF COURSE we did. We are (and were) real people with real personality issues and real feelings. But often times the question under all those issues or feelings was “Who has the power?” We decided God has the power; and in a marriage you cannot have two heads. We read in the Bible that God chose to give the husband the role of “leader” (Genesis 1-2) and the wife was (and still IS) asked to submit to His leadership. (Ephesians 5)
• But, didn’t I find I was more qualified to “lead” in some matters? Oh, you mean like the ability to “multi-task”? Or, are you talking about my attention to detail, or my organizational abilities? Maybe you were thinking of a woman’s ability to handle pain better, or her ability to express compassion and care? Or, were you thinking about how she is a MOM? (Something most dads find it hard to do!!??!)
• God’s plan was, and still is from everything I can see in Scripture, that the family unit be a work in progress: Moms and Dads working together as an amazing team. Most couples go together, like a hand in glove: my husband and I are very diverse individuals and the things I am absolutely terrible at, he is amazing – and vice versa. We have become a UNIT … But he has always been, and will always be, the head of our home.
I would like to share a word of personal account. My husband was involved in a ministry where it was necessary for him to be gone from the home on a consistent basis. He was in this ministry when we met, and I basically knew what I was getting into when we were married. I was in 150% agreement with the work God called him to; and when I married him, God called me to this ministry as well. God gave me a strong temperament; I was very capable of taking care of myself and our children when Paul was away. However, I remembered working hard on learning to take the “Daddy hat” off when he walked in the door after a long ministry trip; and then repositioned it on top of my “Mommy hat” when he was away. He was always grateful that we functioned as a family when he was gone as well as when he was at home. God had equipped me to be able to do the job He gave me to do. Was I doing “everything”? Yes … and I was doing what God had given me to do. Did I feel “superior”? Does “doing it all” make you “superior”?
Paul told someone that when he first met me, he was attracted to my ability to talk intelligently and to have opinions that were trustworthy. In fact, one of his favorite questions is: “If a man marries a woman who is smarter than he is, who’s smarter?!” But my intelligence in no way negates the biblical mandate of his being the leader in our home.
Ladies, my advice to you is this:
1. Do what God gives you to do; use your abilities for Him. Learn what His plan is for you; not the frustrations of someone who doesn’t begin to understand God’s grand design.
2. Don’t be afraid of your abilities (or your inabilities), your intelligence, your capabilities and talents, your personality and desire. Thank the Lord for making you as He did, and live your life in all His fullness enjoying what He gives you to do. However, don’t ever allow your abilities or desires to trump what Scripture has set forth. Side note: God would never lead you to a place that contradicts His Word….never!
3. Ask God to give you younger women to influence on your journey. Encourage them to be all that God wants them to become, knowing His special plan for us as completers, helpers fit for the husbands He gives us, encouragers of other women.
4. To our single readers: Marriage should not be entered into lightly. It has more to do with what God wants then what we want. Also, before you make this important promise make sure you are being lead into a relationship where you will follow Christ’s instructions and are willing to submit yourself to that man’s authority. Therefore, make sure you marry a godly man, one that places God’s Word as an authority over his life.
My heart goes out to Carin Rubenstien. I know she must be confused as to why her marriage didn’t seem to last. After all, she did everything right, right? I pray that the Lord brings someone into her life that will share the Good News with her before she enters into another relationship. She needs to know that God wants us to live happy lives; marriage was His idea, and it can be good – really, really good. But in order to truly be the successful wife, she must surrender her “superiority” over to her husband, and in doing so, she surrenders it over to Christ.
Sarah Bubar
Katie McCoy
Diane Hawkins
Gabrielle Pickle
Katie Fruge
