Should Teen Moms Get Married?

Teen Mom star, Leah Messer, has decided to leave husband Corey Simms, the father of her 16-month-old twin daughters whom she married last October. Leah was the only Teen Mom to decide to marry the father of her children and now, sadly, she will be divorced at 17 years old. This is, unforunately, the norm for teen marriages.

According to “Teenage Couples: Caring, Change, and Commitment”, by Jeanne Warren Lindsay:

“More than 60% of teenage marriages fail within 5 years.”

Eleanor H. Ayer’s writes in her book, Teen Marriage, that:

“A girl married at 17 is twice as likely to be divorced as a girl 18 or 19. If a girl waits until she is 25 the chances that her marriage will last are 4 times better.”

Many  times teen mothers are encouraged to marry the fathers of their children, in hopes of establishing a home together where the children can be raised under the same roof of both parents.  Many times the teen couple is in love and they want to be married before their children come into the world. They love each other, are going to have kids together, so why not go ahead and get married? It seems like the right thing to do and, for some, the biblical thing to do.

But what do YOU think?

Should teenage girls who become pregnant be encouraged to get married so that the children can live in the same home as their father or because it’s the right thing to do? OR should teenage girls wait to get married and not add “premature marriage” on top of  “premature parenting?”

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10 thoughts on “Should Teen Moms Get Married?

  1. No. Parents who try to make their pregnant teens get married are (hopefully) only doing what is best, but teen weddings are rarely what is best for a couple. Teenagers are constantly changing and have yet to reach a level of maturity to make a successful decision when getting married. Add a baby to the mix and it’s a recipe for disaster. And having a tumultuous married relationship around a baby/small child and having the marriage fall apart is worse for the child than for it to be raised by single parents who are willing to be responsible for their actions. I have seen many teen marriages that came about because of a pregnancy, but I’ve never seen a successful one.

  2. I should have said that the parents “(hopefully) believe they are doing what is best” and not imply that they “are” doing what is best.

  3. I don´t think teen moms should be pressured into getting married. After all, marriage is a lifetime decision. They should be taught from the Bible as to what marriage should look like, their roles as wife and mom before they can make a sound commitment. It also depends on whether the dad understands what his role is as a husband and father. Otherwise they´ll likely fit the failed teen marriage stats in the future.

  4. Hey all =) I would like to say that I don’t at all agree on the statistics of teen marriages. (I do agree with the statistics of pregnant teens –getting married though, it’s sad). I say this because I beleive that even if you get married at 16…if you have God in the center of your relationship –only because of God’s grace…you WILL have a successfull marriage if you follow the Lord’s leading. (Personal experience Let me tell you my succsess story…all glory goes to God yall! Okay, (To make a long sotry shorter)…so I got engaged to my now Husband when I was 17, he was 17 as well. Prior to that…we started slowly out as just friends…than good friends…than best friends…then boyfriend and girlfriend…than engaged…than married I was just friends w/ him for about two or three years or so before we started dating, then we were engaged for about 1 year, and now we have been happily married for almost 2 years, sure there has been challenges, but we know that through Christ we can do all things, and we did, and we still and forever will lean upon Him for gudience daily. Four months after the wedding my Husband and I became pregnant, and then around week 9 found out we were miscarrying. We still have no children yet, anyway…rewind a little here…okay so, When I was just 15 years old (my Husband and I are both 20 now)…I prayed with my daddy I said, “Daddy, I had a lot of bad relationships in the past with boys, I don’t want my heart broke again…I want a good strong-Christian boyfriend…” Dad: “Alright sweetheart, how about we go ahead and pray that God will send you that someone? He knows the desires of your heart sweety.” Me: “alright”…So basically my dad prayed that God would send my way a good strong-Christian friend/boyfriend…that was everything I desired. Going about the situation in this way is called courting. Courting and dating are two different things. Courting is praying, and asking God to send you the person you are to marry…dating is just getting together, breaking up, getting together, breaking up, getting togeth….” ” ” etc.

    So (no lie)…about 2 short weeks later, I went to Church one night…and I noticed this handsome looking fellow, but I thought he was probably really young he just didn’t seem my age at the time. So I took my focus off him for a minute and started walking away…then automatically I heard him speak…and I was like, “Wow…he must be my age…or older because no 12 year old would have a voice that deep” LOL! I seriously thought he was 12. SO I met my now Husband in Church…prayed that God would send him my way and he sure did…over the years Jon and I did ministry work together, such as drama, and worship leading. It seemed like ministry is what drew us together…we both loved it! And it helped build our friendship. I knew this guy was different. I never met anyone like him before. My Husband has a strong call on his life…when we were just dating, and engaged I used to go hear him preach alot, that was one of his BIG passions (okay, basically his life –and still is
    When my Husband was 17 he got ordained as a Southern Baptist Minister, at 18 he took his first missions trip to the UK for several months before we got married…when he came back from that –shortly afterward we started planning our wedding, we got married at 18, focused only on eachother for the first year of marriage, then we turned 19…more and more doors started opening up for ministry opportunities for not just my Husband, but again…for the both of us now…at 20 years old He just recently got his very first Church. He is now a Pastor of a wonderful Church with wonderful people, and we are both very excited to see where God is going to take us…

    Friends,

    In our marriage the word, “divorce”, doesn’t exsist. When you’ve got God as the center of your marriage…it’s like glue…Christ will hold everything together. “Well Tina, just wait a couple years…wait till’ kids come along…” You come ask me when I’m 80…and I’ll tell you our marriage has never been better.

    “More than 60% of teenage marriages fail within 5 years…”

    …By God’s grace, I can confidently say…that we are not a part of this number. Nor will we ever be, for we are firmly standing on the solid rock –Christ, our precious Lord.

    God Bless

  5. I’ve wrestled with this one a lot. My parents raised me to believe that, in God’s eyes, sex = married. It’s Biblical that sexual sin is different than any other type of sin, for that sin is against one’s own body while others are outside the body.

    Personally, I believe that the better solution is to work at the cause of the problem– why are the teens getting sexually involved in the first place?

    But since that’s not the issue at hand, I’ll have to say that, with parental support behind the couple, I think it’s better to get married and work through that then it is to stay separate and have the child live lives that are apart.

    If the guy or girl couldn’t see themselves marrying the other, why are they sharing the same bed? There’s responsibility for partaking in certain activities. Removing that responsibility is not helpful.

  6. I believe the point of marriage is to glorify God, not to correct a mistake. What is the foundation of a marriage that has a purpose of fixing behavior? That is, teenage sex is a symptom of a deeper heart issue that needs to be addressed. Making two kids get married because the young woman is pregnant is like putting a bandaid on a broken leg.

    That said, I believe in young marriage. I believe that is God’s design. But if the point of saying “I do” is to right a wrong instead of serve God through serving your spouse, the marriage is doomed no matter how old you are.

  7. I become pregnant at 15 and am so glad I never married the father of my child. He left me when I was 6 months pregnant. Never said a word, just moved to another state and showed up when I wa sin labor! We decided to try to make things work because I was nieve and wanted a “whole” family. We lived together for 9 years, had two more children. He always tried to pressure me into getting married, but it just didn’t feel right. He treated me badly and was verbally abusive. I spent 9 years supporting him and putting up with his selfishness because I was taught that you stay together. I didn’t want to be known as a single, poor, teen mom. Finally I had enough and left him 4 years ago. I took my children and never looked back. Since then I have met someone wonderful who treats me right and that I am in love with. My children are all well behaved and do great in school. I even went back to college and earned my associates in business and am now going for my Bachelors. It turned out that my children and I alone are all the family I needed. Since leaving him their father has gotten married to someone teh years younger than him who broke his nose and treats him like crap. He is also doing drugs and has nothing to do with my children. It’s too bad but better this way. I couldn’t allow him to control us anymore. Now I am in control and I always do what is best for my babies. You are not supposed to build life long relationships with a man when you are 15 years old. Men come and go, but your children are always yours. They are always what matters. Sometimes being a broken home is better than living in a home that looks good on the outside, but is abusive within. If it is meant to be, then you can get married when you both grow up.

    • Christian marriage uneoscling, I believe, has greater potential as an active ingredient in the healing process than any other type of therapy. Why? Because marriage between a man and woman is God’s plan so it only stands to reason that the repair procedures for an unhealthy marriage could be found in His word.My wife and I went through Christian marriage uneoscling provided a trained, licensed, minister of the faith who was exceptionally gifted in using the Word of God to help couples in the reconciliation process. These are important credentials in choosing a counselor. What makes Christian marriage counseling effective is the willingness of the couple to truly uncover, forgive, and die-to-self. It has to be understood that none of these things are within our human ability to accomplish alone. We need the help of the Holy Spirit to facilitate the type of radical change that must take place in one’s heart, deep down inside, in order for real change to take place. You’ll know it is happening when your focus is less on what your mate is doing than what you are doing in and with your relationship with God.Fifteen years later, my wife and I are stronger than ever. Has the road been free of bumps? No. But I have heard it said that if the mountain were as smooth as glass, you wouldn’t be able to climb it. We are still living in and by what we learned in Christian marriage uneoscling. Our marriage is not about determination and resolve to make it work; its about the freedom to love one another and let the other be who they are with full faith and confidence that what holds us together is not our resolve, but trust and assurance in Jesus Christ that He is able to sustain us through any storm that might come our way.

  8. Hi I am doing a project on teenage marriges due to pregnacy i dont agree with getting married just because of a pregancy. But i need more help with it. So if anybody knows of any good websites to look up this subject please help and if you have any storys i would love to hear them. Please feel free to email me at Tinaslilangel@yahoo.com
    Ana C

  9. Pingback: You Got Her Pregnant, Should You Marry Her? : Is This Modest?

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