Protection or Independence: What Do Women Really Want?

Two months ago, Emily Maynard, ABC’s newest Bachelorette, made a startling claim, “Every girl wants to feel protected!”  She said this on the heels of kicking a contestant off the show after he said something rather rude about her daughter.  Emily was in “Mama-Bear” mode and was not to be trifled with!  After she expressed her anger towards the banished beau, she proceeded to interrogate all the guys to whom she had grown close, asking them why they didn’t protect her…why they didn’t stand up for her when this jerk was being rude to her.  Her reasoning? “Every girl wants to feel protected!”

Even just last week, heroes emerged after the devastation of the Aurora shooting. Stories emerged about three boyfriends who died as they acted as human shields in order to protect their girlfriends from the bullets, saving their lives. These men have and should be remembered and honored for their brave actions in protecting the women they love.  Biblical Womanhood featured a post (click here to read it) addressing this topic: women are looking for real men, heroes…the knight in shining armor, willing to be that protector of women.

While these stories match up with your quintessential Disney plot of a knight in shining armor saving the damsel in distress in the knick of time, it’s against what our culture would like for us to believe about women.  Women are independent, strong, and do not need to be saved by any man; we protect ourselves. We can get our own doors, move our own furniture, and kill our own bugs.  The latest string of movies and TV Shows (Once Upon a TimeMirror, MirrorSnow White and The Huntsman, and Brave) portray damsels in distress who wield their own swords, do their own fighting, and battle to defeat the bad guys or get themselves out of the messes which they’ve made.

But then, when rubber meets the road or, in Aurora’s lamentable case, when the gunshot’s are heard, women celebrate bravery in their men. They say “We want to be protected.”  So, which is it?  What do women really want: Protection or Independence?

What do YOU think?

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6 thoughts on “Protection or Independence: What Do Women Really Want?

  1. I want both. And I think that’s Biblical. I don’t think they’re exclusive unless independent means “I don’t answer to no one, no way, no how!”

    I want the protection of my husband when someone mean breaks down the door or when someone says something unkind. I want the protection of my Savior when Satan comes calling.

    I want independence when I decide what kind of meal to make for dinner or how to decorate my home. Not that I don’t want to please those I’m serving, but I don’t think protection means no independent thoughts or responsibilities. I don’t want every part of my life to be dictated by someone else. I’d start to wonder why God gave me thoughts and feelings and desires and why the Proverbs 31 woman got to consider a field and buy it, but I can’t choose beef for dinner instead of chicken.

  2. You know, I recently wrote a blog along these lines too. I’m single and very independent…I change my own oil, tires, work on my car, travel around the world for missions, have gone through the Middle East, India and Bangladesh alone, yada yada. People think I’m crazy but God walks with me…I’ve learned over the years to completely trust Him which means l go where He calls me, single or not. Jesus is my Rock, constant companion and protector so my life isn’t on hold while waiting for a man. I’m strong because that’s who He calls me to be. That being said, nothing makes me feel more feminine than when a guy protects me. It’s the way were created…Independence, as long as it’s complete dependence on Christ, is boldness. When the time comes for God to bring a man into my life, Lord willing, that protection and strength will be a bonus. I love this blog. Blessings to you all.

  3. I know both is kind of a cop out answer, however that is the truth. I want to be seen as different but equal. I have lived on my own for 10 years now. I can do more home repairs then most men I know. I am able to take care of myself because God has been faithful. I do the things I do because I have to. I was a foster mom for years. I fought for my kids all the time, yet would cry at night because I didn’t have anyone to share in that fight. I wanted someone to take a stand for me when I was butting heads with the state over my girls. I wanted someone to remind me of the truth of Scripture when my heart was breaking because it was time for my girls to go to their forever home. I am not incapable of caring for myself. So in that way, I am very independent. But its nice to have someone look at you and say your worth protecting.

  4. It all started in the Garden of Eden when Satan lied to Eve and convinced her to think
    that she could be and deserved to be more than GOD intended her to be. She was created to be Adam’s helper or partner. The modern day version of Satan is the media,
    the feminism movement and etc. Please you can’t have it both ways, Women were not created to compete with men. Women were created to be a partner and mate with a man. The worst thing women have done was abandon the Gender roles that were in place since the beginning of time. Bottom line is they now have the independence they wanted and cry wondering why they are alone at night.
    Here is a good link
    All I can say is I am a singe man and will remain that way until I meet a woman that
    does not have a warped thought process.

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